don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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