Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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