weddingsv make me drug and hornr
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
