This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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