Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
