So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
