I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
