So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize