meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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