I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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