I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
