I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sorry about my life...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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