are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
