i wish there were pregnant emoticons
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
