I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
