you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
