it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I need water and some morals
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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