So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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