She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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