me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
