I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
