At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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