My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
