But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
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