My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
