spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
