thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
