WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
North Korea, Best Korea!
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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