is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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