we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
