We're facebook friends in real life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize