I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
