fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
