I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
