We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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