my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
