Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
false alarm, still single
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
