Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
