Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
