she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
