I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I CAN MOONWALK!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Randomize
