Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
