Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
