i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
