Grow some girl-balls and come out already
it was like his penis was on wheels.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
