So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You can't just leave with hair like that
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
