No, drunk sperm still make babies.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
