I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
