genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
