Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
