I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i now understand why vodka
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
