He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
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Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
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she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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