That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
