wat bout pragnant strippers??
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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