hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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