True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
