his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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