Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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