It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
