I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
