I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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