there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We left the knife in your bed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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